#BlackLivesMatter

As a middle-aged, middle-class-suburban-living, white male living in the whitest town on the planet, what right do I have to write this post?

In high school, my friends and I were unfairly targeted by officials, whether it was police, teachers, or border-crossing officials because we were rockers with long hair and we acted like jackasses. We’d cross the border to go to Detroit for concerts, be detained and have our car torn apart but never, EVER, did I fear for my life. Never.

Many years ago while traveling with a black colleague, we went through airport security and while he was not detained, he was treated disrespectfully and had all of his belongings searched through while I sat there watching. The socks he was wearing cost more than anything I own. All I saw was a well manicured, professional looking, well-mannered, intelligent black man in fucking suit, while I was in shorts and a t-shirt, being embarrassed.

Funny thing was, for him, it was normal.

On another occasion I was selected for ‘random screening’ while going through airport security and upon being moved into the little room for inspection, I noticed I was the only white person there. When I was called, the official asked me where I was going. I told him, and he said ‘have a good trip’. He didn’t even open my bag while everyone else I watched was treated disrespectfully and had their belongings thrown all over the table.

I supposed the closest I came to feeling what it’s like to experience ‘racism’ was when my family and I were visiting Chicago many years ago. We were hungry and since all my kids would agree on eating was McDonalds, we found one and went in. But we didn’t realize this was the ‘black McDonalds’. That is, we were the only white people there and when we walked in, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us.

While we were eating, people at other tables were whispering and looking, which was weird, but because I am an idiot, I thought it was because everyone knew were out-of-towners. We weren’t afraid and nothing happened but it was clear that this was a place white, blue-eyed blonde people didn’t go.

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got and it’s pathetic.

I grew up in a small border town close to Detroit and my grandparents lived in Dearborn so we visited there often. We went to plenty of Detroit Tiger games and roamed around Michigan and Trumbull oblivious to the environment. As a kid, it never occurred to me that people could be treated differently because of their skin colour or race.

That said, all we ever saw on the Detroit news was violence being incited by black people so I understand the role the media has in shaping the narrative and why some people incorrectly leap to conclusions. Let me be clear, this is wrong and it’s the responsibility of parents to talk with their kids that race and colour has nothing to do with it. It’s economics.

Had I not moved to Toronto, I am sad and disappointed to admit that I would probably be in the #AllLivesMatter camp and that I would be saying “if you want respect, respect the police” — Let me be clear, if you’re in that camp claiming to not be a racist, I don’t believe you entirely understand deep-rooted, systemic racism. I don’t believe being in those camps makes you a racist, just uninformed, and un-empathetic.

I can’t pretend to know what happens in the minds of black people when they hear sirens or see police coming.

I can’t pretend to know what happens in the minds of black people when people cross the street to avoid walking by them.

I can’t pretend to know what happens in the minds of black people when they go for a coffee in a ‘nice neighbourhood’ and get asked to leave.

I can’t pretend to know what it’s like for black parents raising kids knowing they’re going to be racially profiled, excluded, harassed, and worse, shot for walking down a fucking street.

I can’t pretend to know what to do to help, or if my help is wanted or needed.

I can’t pretend to offer an overly simplistic solution to a complex, deep-rooted systemic problem.

All I can do is be vocal. I can teach my kids to respect everyone (expect for assholes, no matter what colour or race they are), and talk to them about the history of slavery and systemic racism with the hopes that as they grow up, they will positively influence the people around them.

I can speak up when I see racial profiling, or intolerance.

I can donate to charities that are working on civil rights issues and dealing with police brutality at the system level.

I can donate my time to causes, and help educate people on systemic change. I don’t know how to do that or where to look, but I am willing — please leave a comment with causes we can contribute to.

Other than that, all I know is that #BlackLivesMatter and we must continue to spread that message and call out intolerance — not in an angry mob, twitter type of way — but in a way that promotes constructive dialogue and action.

We as a society created this. We are all responsible for allowing society to become what it has become. We can all be selfish assholes who sometimes put ourselves above bigger system issues and we can change. We can do better. We MUST do better for the sake of our kids and future of humanity.